我的世界·我的心声
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Learning not to show concern for people, because its definitely not worthwhile in this society anymore...you may hear a lot of fake gratitude words, but upon realising tat nobody really meant wat they said, it really infuriates one...so wat the hell with all those care n concern for anyone? there's definitely NO NEED to care for anybody in the 1st place, who wld appreciate it in the 1st place n who needs in anyway...everyone has grown so strong n independent (or its juz how they think they are), who the hell nid u to KPO in their life? damnit...
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/30/2006 09:43:00 pm
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
《太阳》
感受阳光的洗礼,
睡着的心灵被迫醒来;
千万个不愿意,
看到这份耀眼的礼物;
当夜晚太寂寞,
白天就显得太喧哗,
埋葬在心里的沉静,
希望的不是醒来,
是沉睡……
明天没有尽头,
期待没有意义;
逃离了现实,
却逃不开郁闷;
害怕光明,
因为阳光太耀眼,
让事实与真相,
显得太过明显,
让自己想逃,
却不知落脚何处……
看得见的东西,
多少是真实的,
多少是可以触碰的,
多少是可以拥有的,
我想根本没办法预料,
更加没办法想象,
一切就只是存在,
却那么虚假……
太阳的光芒,
向四面八方射去,
这股强烈的力量,
让万物得到了万能的生命,
但是,
却没办法让我得到安稳,
反正不管眼光多强烈,
也照不出我的未来,
继续走在阳光底下,
也只有徒增悲伤而已……
陷入我的白夜昼,
踏上了一段没有归途的道路,
我们属于没有未来的人,
我们是没有期待的人,
活着,
只为活着,
死去,
也不会有太多感伤,
如果我们错了,
那也没办法,
因为像我们这样的人,
根本不值得任何人去关心,
去了解,
放手吧,
让心随着心中向往的快乐天堂前进,
逃离太阳的魔掌,
接受新的生活方式,
接受接下来的人生……
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/28/2006 09:11:00 pm
Monday, November 27, 2006

Beginning to hate life...
Every step taken is every step of misery...
Just don't understand if one has already lose the motive of living,
what is the purpose of walking on the same road as everyone else?
The urge to stop are forever interrupted by repeated pushes from people,
this kind of life is miserable...
I'm runnning through depression stage again...
I don't know when will it be the last time i will write again...
I don't know when will i choose to close my eyes and never wake up again...
I don't know when will there be an excuse for me to go...
Go to a faraway land and never return...
I'm very selfish...
I didn't think about anyone else feeling on the fact that I'm seriously fed up with life...
Really, I seriously hope every night that i just close my eyes to sleep,
and I just don't wake up anymore...
I don't know what I can leave for my parents...
Which is why I save n save...
just in case one day I really want to go,
there is something for them...
I know that is not enough,
but it's the best I can do...
I'm not a competent man...
I do not have the mindset and vision of a great man...
I've always wanted to lead a simple life,
but this simplicity is boring...
Yes...the feeling of inferiority has started to sink into my heart,
but it isn't something I can control...
When it comes,
it just comes...
Sometime I really hate hearing from people words of encouragement...
I don't like to lie to people,
but sometime I have to do so,
so that people will leave me alone...
I'm just so SICK OF EVERYTHING!!!
Pathetic, am i?
Do anyone out there still think I'm a good teacher?
Do anyone out there still think I'm hopeful?
Guess no one at all...
And please,
don't come along telling me how much you sympathize or how much you care...
Because I don't think I like to hear it anymore,
and its better you keep everything to yourself,
don't waste anymore effort on me le...
I'm as stupid as you can imagine...
I don't treasure life as anyone does...
I do admit I'm afraid of death too,
but if I have to face it to relieve myself from any pain,
I think I will just have to do it...
I don't know when it will be...
However,
I guess I'm still hanging till I cannot take it anymore......
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/27/2006 11:22:00 pm
Im talking to Lihui over MSN now...
well...nothing much really...
she got an interview in the morning...
although it will results in a serious paycut...
but if the interview (preliminary) is successful,
she will has a chance to work in China for 1-2 years...
of cse im happy for her...
coz it means she can do wat she really likes...
but really,
on the other hand,
really cant bear to see her leave...
coz it wld only means a close friend is leaving...
leaving me more time to be free again...
and tat when i got smtg impt tat i wan to share,
i hv one less confidant...
alrite...
no matter wat,
cannot be too selfish...
i wish n pray tat Lihui can be successful in the interview~
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/27/2006 01:38:00 am
Friday, November 24, 2006
23rd November 2006
Yesterday was a boring yer tiring day...
well not really tat tiring,
juz tat did a lot of hard labour...
was in school early in the morning for PSLE result...
yeaz...reached on time for breakfast...
anyway as usual,
there are plenty of teachers with plenty looks on their face...
dun understand why,
coz exam is already over,
and they've already did wat they can,
so wats there to worry abt?
so wat if kids score straight A*?
and so wat if half of the kids flunk the exam?
well...it doesnt really matter to me,
but it doesnt mean i dun care abt the result,
juz tat i feel tat undue worries are absolutely redundant!!!
anyway,
as expected,
result aint bad at all!!!
so isnt their worries SO EXTRA???!!!
ok...
frankly speaking,
im not at all please with the results of my class...
so if any of you are reading this,
u shld know why from the time u got ur result until now,
u dun even get to see or hear anytg from me...
im really very disappointed with only 5 students,
manage to get Grade 1 for their Basic Chinese Language...
anyway,
congrats to the 5 who got it...
u hv performed up to the standard n expectation i wanted...
juz in case u guys forgot my aim for the year...
i was at least 50% Grade 1 from the class...
yes...its high but not impossible...
for ur information,
the Top 3 in the class for Prelim,
none of them attained Grade 1...
so if all of them manage to do well,
i will easily have 8 Grade 1...
all i need is another 5-6 more to meet my target...
its not impossible coz there are potential in all these kids!!!
anyway too late to say anything...
i think i really didnt teach well for the year...
so i do deserve this kinda result...
ok exam aside...
had lunch with wendy n nat...
after tat,
i stayed back to clear my desk...
im very satisfied with wat i've done...
hahaha...all cleared...
threw away one whole trashbag of unwanted materials...
oh yea...hopefully i din throw away any useful ones...
took ard 2 hours to clear everytg...
well its really not easy...
n its not a clean job i must say...
went for dinner with the chinese department in the evening...
my phone was almost flat n i forgot where the restaurant is...
so i was looking ard for it...
sms phyllis but she said wait for her to come den call me...
i was like thinking wait for her to come,
wat if my phone die on me?
so i quickly go search ard...
lucky i manage to find...
and hv ample of time for window shopping later...
oh i took some pics on the X'mas tree at Ngee Ann City...
hmm...remember the last time i took similar pics is 2 years ago?
i cant really rem le...hahaha...
anyway, its was a very filling dinner...almost cnot finish...i really dunno shld i show wat i ate anot...coz hahaha...its really quite wasteful to feed on such great food on me...hmm i think the posting of these food i leave it to phyllis...she will be most glad to post them,coz she is the one who wans pic to be taken,anyway the food will look more appetising with her posing than myself...after dinner almost all of us took the lenghty MRT journey home...hp batt was flat...and the forgetful rachel actually msg me after she reach home...but i was not even near my place yet...think she finally rem later n sent another sms some 10 mins later...anyway,we had a few exchanges of smses...hmm, she looks rather worried abt a lot of things...hope she doesnt think so much,coz really not good for herself...well, all in all,i guess i cld call it a pleasant day...yeaz minus all the tiring part...24th November 2006Today is worse than yesterday...nothing much done n wasted a lot of time...simple day...starts off with having Non-Core Committee,with Mus chairing the meeting...starts slightly after 8am..ends ard 10.15am...do ntg after tat all the way till 2.20pm...walking ard in staff room 1...chatting with nat, lynn, adrienne etcat last when almost everyone is away...i sat on sharon's chair waiting to hv lunch with some of them...oh...while waiting,lynn was packing her cupboards...and i...FELL ASLEEP!!!oh yea, how can i actually fell asleep on sharon's not so cosy chair?but i actually did...nvm...by the time i woke up,the rest finished their last meeting...went for lunch at Sakae with Serena, Lynn & Judy...Serena left early to fetch her parents to Airport...so the 3 of us stayed till ard 3.45pm before we go off...oh we saw Mun See & Pauline in Sakae too...but it was only until they are going off den they see us...hmm after tat is quite boring...came home do ntg but watch tv...ermz...did a bit of small amendment to my blog...push up the blog space a bit...add in my fave phrase "Piece of Shit" under the Scratch...hmm...nothing much le...well...my last blog today now...hahaha....not gonna rest yet...think im gonna laze ard b4 i go to bed...since its gonna be yet another boring day...
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/24/2006 11:20:00 pm
《改变》
三秒钟前的微笑,
是三秒钟后的痛苦,
两个人从看见到打招呼,
就只有那么短短的三秒钟,
这根本不足够,
两个人对彼此的认识,
也只有那么一点点,
虽然两个人拥有的默契不错,
但是如果大家都不给对方机会,
那最后真的不知道,
到底谁会先跟谁说“对不起……”
在一切还来得及的时候,
是否应该冷静地想想,
两个人的未来应该是怎么样的,
两个人将来的路应该朝什么方向前进,
与其像现在一样,
让一切冻结,
好像都不肯承认其实对方就是那一个,
可以给对方前所未有的幸福感的人,
或许是大家都没有察觉到,
这种感觉就叫迷惘……
别轻言放弃,
因为两个人从来没有认真的尝试,
开始一段感情,
能够给对方关怀的不是别人,
而是你们两个人,
两个不用言语,
也可以感受得到对方的心思的人,
毕竟已经那么接近了,
为什么还不放手一搏,
至少不会留下悔恨……
思想,
是改变的时候了,
千万不要等到失去的时候,
才来说如果当初多付出一点绝对是对的,
所以要懂得把握机会,
因为今天失去的,
明天未必拿得回来,
改变吧,
让自己能够得到想要的幸福……
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/24/2006 10:59:00 pm
Monday, November 20, 2006
There are things that we often thought of but never had a chance to realise...
There are times when we seriously meant something but people will think it as a good joke...
There are moments when it is right to say something but it turns out to be inappropriate because of the wrong mood...
There are example that two clearly admired each other but are never destined to be together...
There are feelings that is hiding in the heart that can never be said out loud...
There are nights when one cries and the other follows...
There are thoughts that believe two can makes things work but often ignored due to lack of confidence...
There are plenty plenty of what we believe but never get a chance to get it started...
Which is why we will always be stuck where we are and never get to move on further...
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/20/2006 11:56:00 pm
夜空下,寂静的小屋子里,靠着墙角的一张桌子上,放着一盏旧式的油灯,奄奄一息的细火苗,随着微弱的风起舞,什么时候会熄灭,没有人猜测得到……灯光下,破旧的小屋子里,坐着睡觉的一个老身子,放着一瓶半满的酒瓶,模模糊糊的空脑袋,看着闪烁的星傻笑,什么时候会死去,没有人推测得到……桌子下,凹凸的小地毯上,躺着懒散的一只波斯猫,摸着一张肮脏的小嘴,闪闪发光的呆滞眼,望着昏睡的老身子,什么时候会离去,没有人预测得到……渐渐的,灯光变得非常微弱,像生命一样没有了精神,那瞬间从外头吹来的风,一下子把油灯吹灭了……灯灭了,四周只剩黑暗,还有一双渐渐冷却的身体,老身子也忍耐不下去了,酒瓶滑落手中,打破了寂静,但却也打开了地狱 的大门……酒瓶破,猫也被吓得逃走了,回到了辽阔的黑暗中,依旧闪耀着自己一双耀眼的眼睛,但是未来是否也一样那么耀眼?这是一个充满句号的夜晚……油灯结束了最后的光芒,老身子失去了最后的一口气,波斯猫失去了自己的安适,这个世界本就是这样,不管任何事物都有结局,而且不用质疑,它随时会发生在你的身上……夜将结束,明天又是等待句号的时候,你,做好准备了吗?
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/20/2006 11:12:00 pm
Friday, November 17, 2006
Waiting for the next art you will perform...
Waiting for the next boredom you will face...
Waiting for the next christmas you will celebrate...
Waitng for the next depression you will feel...
Waiting for the next expression you will show...
Waiting for the next friday you will want...
Waiting for the next gift you will give...
Waiting for the next hello you will say...
Waiting for the next interest you will like...
Waiting for the next joke you will crack...
Waiting for the next kilo you will gain...
Waiting for the next look you will change...
Waiting for the next moment you will smile...
Waiting for the next nonsense you will create...
Waiting for the next opportunity you will appear...
Waiting for the next qualification you will attain...
Waiting for the next regret you will get...
Waiting for the next step you will take...
Waiting for the next turn you will make...
Waiting for the next understanding you will leave...
Waiting for the next vocation you will enjoy...
Waiting for the next word you will speak...
Waiting for the next x-cuse you will say...
Waiting for the next zero you will break...
等待……一个短暂的等待,就算只是在一旁静静地看着,静静地支持着也好,只希望看到最疼爱的你,是快乐,而且幸福的……
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/17/2006 09:32:00 pm
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Hmm...im not gonna blog about anything today...juz wan to say congratuation to kaylin for making it to TRIPLE SCIENCE...Im proud of u even though i did ntg...hahaha~(anyway, she doesnt wans me to do this i bet...nevertheless, NOTHING is gonna stop me!!!)
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/15/2006 09:09:00 pm
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
its a long long day...well, even though ntg much has been done,its still a long long day...wake up as usual,go to sch and reach ard 7am...distribute jersey to the students,get them to change,but...they are not very fast...took a bit of time to change...ahh...ok...we are late boarding the bus...nonetheless, we reach our destination on time...was expecting 7 other teams there,but when we reach,there is only one other team ard...well after a bit of time,2 more teams came...but its kinda disappointing,coz our sch only manage to play 3 games...anyway,result aint good at all,1 win 2 lost...LAST in the whole carnival...when its finally time to go back,its ard 1pm le...so when i reach sch,its already 1.30pm,and i finally had time for my lunch ard 1.45pm...well, had the same old stuff again...hahaha...boring but no choice...after lunch,went back school to do my work review...tats my only objective of then day...upon finishing,waited for 6pm to come for Meet the Parents...had KFC for dinner,but didnt hv much coz not hungry...oh, my supper was mercilessly swept by a bunch of hungry ghost...ermz...if any of the hungry ghosts is reading this,pls let the rest know...hahaha~well, meeting parents isnt anytg difficult,all i did is tell them how's their result n wat to improve on...its 8+pm when everytg ended,came home straightaway after i got my only looking forward of the week,yeaz, tats buying my required doze of "comic drugs"...lucky today got 2 comic books which are my fave,Dear Boys 2 & Air Gear...alrite...after home is bathing n blogging...still dunno wat time will i be sleeping,coz i dun hv the slightest idea wat time shld i sleep...haha...anyway, may all of u have a good day the next day...buaiz~
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/14/2006 09:45:00 pm
Monday, November 13, 2006
Decide to change a new layout...i didnt make any changes to the layout yet...later bah...hahaha when im more free...well,guess at least i will try to revamp the whole shit...haiz...life's bored...
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/13/2006 11:32:00 pm
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
《竞争》何谓竞争?是经过别人挑衅后做出的反射举动,还是与生俱来的好胜心?可能我们都不清楚为了什么跟别人竞争,但是我们不可以否认,从出世的第一天,我们就得开始跟别人竞争,在婴儿房里,我们跟其他人争着谁的哭声最响亮,那些竞争对手很自然,一定会成为自己往后 的日子里,非常具有实力的竞争者,不管是学业也好,工作也罢,他们肯定会给自己一个很好的挑战……其实,竞争对我来说,并没有什么特别的意义,从小到大我也不爱竞争,可是往往竞争却不会避开我,经过了这么年,竞争给自己很大很大的考验,也把自己磨练得不一样了,虽然并没有变得更具实力,但是在成长的过程里,多少给了自己不少的机会,去改变生活的方式……小的时候,常常会为了很多事情跟别人竞争,学业的话,并没有什么竞争,我并不是说没有对手,而是我从来不拿功课跟别人比,或许因为这并不是我的强项,所以,不必比也知道结局是怎么样的了……长大一点后,尤其是青春期,更加懂得跟别人竞争是怎么样的一件事,可还是没办法阻止竞争的发生,而且还出现了更多的竞争,好像运动方面,实力坚强的对手越来越多,自己面对的对手也一个比一个强悍,所以就被这些对手牵着鼻子走……后来,了解女人是怎么一回事后,就开始跟别人竞争,看谁是最后的赢家……还有很多很多,好像唱歌也一样,到了Karaoke里,难道你甘心只是一个让人笑你不会唱歌的人吗?这些就这样一直发展下去,而且变得越来越复杂,有时甚至到自己无法负荷的地步,所以很多时候会感到疲累,也不想继续走下去,然而,竞争对手有时会给自己一些意外的刺激,让自己没有那么容易放弃人生,所以他们是敌也是友,是人生中不可或缺的一部分……我渐渐懂得珍惜竞争的美丽,好像现在,事事都没有人跟自己竞争,所以也变得椿了,每天过得很无聊,其实这样也没关系,因为迟早竞争也会出现的……
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/08/2006 09:14:00 pm
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
对你们来说什么是欢乐?欢乐会带给你快乐吗?如果会,那这份快乐会持续多久?我不太了解欢乐,因为好久好久没有感受过,那种发自内心的快乐……很多时候,笑着只是笑着,快乐很短暂,根本没有办法长时间地享受,那种可以好好回忆的快乐……也许生活真的太无趣了,可能没有意义的活着真的很无聊,不过我找不到什么值得做的,虽然有试着做些不同的事,但是很容易就觉得没什么有趣的,到最后,感觉上就是做什么事情都好像是……是三分钟热度一样,其实这样一点都不好,很多时候花了好多好多的钱,到最后却发现其实花了的钱,根本没有办法帮自己排解孤单,感觉真的不好……不知道……真的不知道了……好闷!好烦!不管是在家里,还是到外头去,我都找不到欢乐……每天只有很少的时间笑着,因为没有很多事情可以让我笑,但我想我并不悲伤,我只是处在有点不满足于现状,但却又不肯向前踏进一步的人……怪不了任何人,反正是自己想要这样的……
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/07/2006 09:24:00 pm
Monday, November 06, 2006
i think i nid to exercise more...keep feeling tired n lethargic easily...i think im slowly moving back to the weak self...today after playing basketball for only a short while,i actually feel the "black-out",which i hvnt experienced since sec sch days...this is terrible...maybe the dreadful minor thalesemia is here to stay...haiz...i dun wan to faint liao b4...tats not a very good feeling,thus i hv to make myself fit again...i will try to exercise more now...i think only by doing so,den can i avoid being a sick baby again...i wan to keep on running,i dun wan to face the dreadful needles,poking here n there,i also doesnt wan to see blood drawn from my body...well...its not a serious illness but,it does affect me as a person,be it my body or soul...hope everyday will be a safe day for me...anyway,today is a stupid day...1st is the shooting the video for rahman's retirement...hmm...i hope i didnt spoil june's work,with my lousy video taking...i muz admit it coz i really sux at it...later we hv deeparaya celebration...got sabo again...haiz...go do dunno wat stupid runway...its juz like catwalk...damn...im sure they can find better person than me, rite?anyway,got sabo a 2nd time by competiting in Best Dress...oh c'mon...how many male teachers are there?sure ganna one mah...haiz...worse still is i think im the worst dress,and yet ganna sabo to do catwalk again,and declared the winner...for goodness sake,i dun deserve it at all...juz feel so embarassing after the whole shit thing...oh yah...given a tiara to wear...tats stupid enuff...anyway i gave it to my p2 gal, yiting after the celebration ended...ok after tat continue my p3 lesson,and continue being suan by my pupils...i changed immediately after my lesson...hmm after tat is pretty much boring...basketball at 4pm...oh before tat my p3 gals,xin ni, li qin n hui shi,came to talk to me...they are so cartooon...hahaha...give me a bit of fun for the day...anyway left sch at ard 6.15pm...went to hv dinner with a poly fren,den came home at 11+...so sianz...boring day again...its okie...hope tmr will be better...looking forward to tmr,coz tmr got comics to buy...hahaha~
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/06/2006 11:38:00 pm
Thursday, November 02, 2006
《我的诅咒》别了灵魂,在夜幕落下的瞬间,我拉开了窗帘,外头一片黑暗,又是活动的时候了,我慢慢地移动身体,往黑暗的角落前进,身体不听使唤,渴望鲜血带给我的刺激,沸腾的热血,鼓动着的心动,朝着前方最美丽的身影前进,没有声音的步伐,一步步靠近猎物,那纤细的身子,根本没有能力抵抗我的万能,今夜我将再次满足,那永世不得揭开的诅咒……耶!吸血鬼的故事大家都听过,现在看一看我对吸血鬼的诠释吧,其实我认为吸血鬼是很可怜的“生物”,活着,对他们来说是伤痛的,因为当你发现自己有不死之身,可以活得很久很久,而身边重要的人物却无法陪着自己,当他们一个一个死去后,试着想一想,他们心里是怎么样的感受?更糟糕的是,他们没有办法看到漂亮的天明,更加不能接触阳光的洗礼,他们是非常可怜的……所以偶尔想一想吧,如果你觉得你的人生很糟糕,那活着的吸血鬼所受的苦,又会是什么呢?
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/02/2006 09:51:00 pm
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
想念……在没有联络开始,是没有了消息?还是没有了其他的期盼?修复的新世界,好不容易安静了下来,却在那一瞬间变成了漩涡,把平静的心弄得波涛汹涌,激动,已经不再是用言语来形容了,每天只渴望你在晚上的出现……没有别的心思,只期待下一次能到 Chocolate Cafe,满足你对巧克力的渴望,满足两个人可以在一起的时光,这不是谎言,只是需要我们鼓起勇气,开创一条路,大胆的为自己做一点事,做一点可以让两个人快乐的事……(我的新小说题材,不是我的人生经验……不要误会哦……呵呵~~)
一个人的街道
0 过路留言
11/01/2006 09:25:00 pm